After Alison Wonderland drew attention to some violent comments left by boys on her Instagram (see rapey commentary below), her fans unleashed on the troll perps in question. I felt compelled to lash out too, but then I wasn’t sure what to say. Yes it’s disgusting, yes they should be ashamed, no they probably don’t mean it, but who actually says shit like that? And why? I’ve been developing some theories, let’s see what The Internet thinks about them.
It should be noted that Alison had to ask her fans to stop threatening these particular trolls because things got so out of hand, and one of them even apologized. We are not here to shame them further, we’re here to try and understand. Theory #1 posits that guys leaving rapey, violent commentary are probably really young. That’s not an excuse, the act just reeks of the stupidity, meaninglessness and hormonal fluctuation you have to endure between ages 12 and 18 when you have the whole world at your fingertips and you think you know everything but you still have to do what your mom says.
Theory #2 dives into the socialization of these poor little assholes. These days, I spend so much time on The Internet, it shapes my perception of reality way more than IRL observations and I’m a 30 year old woman. What must it be like for middle-school-aged boys growing up on PornHub? More on that in my third theory, for now let’s just say it’s got to be difficult to know how to act in life when you’re spending 8 hours a day experiencing other people through a screen. Kids are growing up spending more time consuming people via online media than learning how to interact with others. That has to be isolating, how is @b.coves ever going to learn how to talk to women and thus ever get laid in his poor adolescent life?
We’ve all seen ‘The 40 Year Old Virgin’, we know what happens to people who never learn how to make an intimate connection with another human during adolescence – it gets WEIRD. And it only gets weirder as we age. Have you heard of The Sexodus? It’s a real thing. Men giving up on women and dropping out of society is a worldwide phenomenon, Theory #3 posits that these are exactly the sort of men who leave rapey comments: they’re either boys on the Sexodus fastrack or grown men who’ve already given up. This, I believe, is the 4chan demographic in a nutshell.
The average age of exposure to hardcore pornography in developed countries is 11. This isn’t dad’s Playboy or a slow-loading JPEG, it’s the entire fucking Internet, LITERALLY. Most young boys in Western society, before they’ve kissed a girl or even held her hand, have seen women doing ass to mouth or being face-raped by 12 inch cocks. How could they not be terrified? To have your normal sexual development derailed has to be tremendously disempowering, what better way to reclaim that power than to take out all your frustrations on women through a screen without consequence? That’s what I think misogynistic troll culture is all about, it’s a sorely misguided claim of power by people who are disempowered by a lack of real, interpersonal connection.
So what can we do? I really don’t know what to do about porn – I joined this movement called Porn Kills Love but then I realized they’re doing nothing to lobby Congress to pass any laws restricting access, who knows if that’s even possible anymore. As for what to do about the trolls, I send them love. They probably need a hug more than anyone and Alison nailed it when she asked her fans to back up off the perps, the old fighting fire with fire thing never works. I’ve started reaching out to people who leave the most offensive comments just to say hey, I’m a person, I’m nice, that hurts. 99 times out of a 100 they don’t even have the balls to tear me down on a private message. If you have any other suggestions please send me an email, Molly@iFoundMolly.com – tryna make the Internet a better place over here.