Told y’all earlier this week I was keeping a dirty little secret from you about the bae @JohnAOchoa and I’s relationship, but I’m finally ready to blog about it.
It’s very simple – the universe doesn’t want me dickstracted right now. I don’t know how else to put it. Dickstraction is a noun that can also be used as an adjective (dickstracted) describing a state of being where one is unable to focus their mind on a given task because they’re so mentally preoccupied with the righteous D they just got or w trying to get some more.
That’s why I’ve become a born again virgin, and also because it totally plays on all John’s childhood Catholic guilt. But mostly it’s because I’m so busy out here trying to blaze new internet frontier, I can’t afford to be dickstracted while going one deeper in my career. I could not have planned how perfectly that was going to rhyme, but now y’all know why John’s still hanging around strip clubs taking selfies.
Anyway, to all you ladies who feel me when the turn up on the D is too real – sometimes you just gotta chill on it. Cause when you’ve got unfettered access to top shelf D – or WORSE, limited access, it’s hard to get up off it physically and mentally. Later after getting some mind-blowing D, I just want to send an email or make some internet, but instead I’m glazed over in the throws of a flashback. If it’s any good, I’m going to be replaying it in my head – then I can’t seem to stop #Dickstracted.
After awhile it’s like, “I should stay in and work tonight”, jk I’m gonna go get some more of that fuckin’ epic D I’ve been thinking about compulsively since I had it last. That’s dickstraction, and I don’t need it. John’s dick is gonna be heartbroken reading this, and IDK how this is gonna work with us moving in together, but I’m not sorry. I just gotta do me right now – literally.
PS. I’ll never get tired of this image.