Dickstraction – It’s A Real Thing

dickstracted-dickstraction

Told y’all earlier this week I was keeping a dirty little secret from you about the bae @JohnAOchoa and I’s relationship, but I’m finally ready to blog about it.

It’s very simple – the universe doesn’t want me dickstracted right now. I don’t know how else to put it. Dickstraction is a noun that can also be used as an adjective (dickstracted) describing a state of being where one is unable to focus their mind on a given task because they’re so mentally preoccupied with the righteous D they just got or w trying to get some more.

That’s why I’ve become a born again virgin, and also because it totally plays on all John’s childhood Catholic guilt. But mostly it’s because I’m so busy out here trying to blaze new internet frontier, I can’t afford to be dickstracted while going one deeper in my career. I could not have planned how perfectly that was going to rhyme, but now y’all know why John’s still hanging around strip clubs taking selfies.

john-ochoa-stripper-selfie

Anyway, to all you ladies who feel me when the turn up on the D is too real – sometimes you just gotta chill on it. Cause when you’ve got unfettered access to top shelf D – or WORSE, limited access, it’s hard to get up off it physically and mentally. Later after getting some mind-blowing D, I just want to send an email or make some internet, but instead I’m glazed over in the throws of a flashback. If it’s any good, I’m going to be replaying it in my head – then I can’t seem to stop #Dickstracted.

After awhile it’s like, “I should stay in and work tonight”, jk I’m gonna go get some more of that fuckin’ epic D I’ve been thinking about compulsively since I had it last. That’s dickstraction, and I don’t need it. John’s dick is gonna be heartbroken reading this, and IDK how this is gonna work with us moving in together, but I’m not sorry. I just gotta do me right now – literally.

PS. I’ll never get tired of this image.

Portable-Masturbation-Hut

 

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