What a year it’s been out here on iFoundMolly! It seemed appropriate to do a blog-post roundup to celebrate our one year anniversary on the Internet, so without further adieu here are my 12 favorite posts from the year including gems from the archives like Dave 1 Sexually Assaulted Me With The Funk and Calling Baloney Sandwiches On Burning Man.
12. EDM Snobs Are Lame, Let The Children Techno
In this post, we harken back to the ‘pre-DM’ days where times were simpler and people at festivals were nicer and more in control of themselves. The mass commercial explosion of dance music in North America has certainly taken its toll on PLUR culture, but I contend that we can get it back. Find out how here in this first favorite article from EDC 2014.
11. My High School Nemesis Hipster Runnoff Becomes My Greatest Love And Profound Blogspiration
When I found out legendary blogger Hipster Runnoff was my high school arch nemesis a few years back I nearly died of jealousy and disbelief. But being in the world these days as an older, wiser Molly ultimately made me realize that he’s actually my greatest blogspiration – check out my tribute poem to his legacy here following the revelation of his identity to Vice earlier this year.
10. Acid Lessons – Better Learned At The Beach Than The Rave
I think this is the one and only time I’ve spoken in depth about a personal drug experience on this site, and the story is complete with me freeing the nipple at a public beach and peeing with my heroes, so you gotta check it out (here). For real though, now that I’m sober and have a bit more perspective on the matter, I know for sure that doing drugs with your loved ones in nature is the best way to get the good lessons, taking psychedelics at the Rave is a great way to wind up making out with a tree and getting arrested.
9. Miley And The Dark Side Of Insta-Fame: A Vlog From The Womb
We launched a new format mid-way through the year called Moll-tov Vlogtails, and I’m especially proud of this second episode. After going to the Flaming Lips Womb Gallery Christmas party in Oklahoma City and seeing how their fans treated Miley (if you’ve ever seen the Britney Spears South Park episode, that’s the best analogy), I got hideously depressed about the dehumanized nature of our celebrity-obsessed culture. It’s all here in #MolltovVlogtail #2.
8. Crushing On DJ’s With Glasses
I LOL at myself legitimately every time I read this one, I must have been really horny last year. There’s lots of DJ’s with glasses to be in love with, and plenty more that don’t have glasses who would be really sexy if they got a pair – watch me turn into a 16 year old in this piece here.
7. Your EDM Understands Dick Riding
This one felt really good to write because Your EDM’s 30 Under 30 list was such a flagrant display of dickriding I was worried their writing staff were going to drown in all the lube one would need to pull off such a feat. For every lady in EDM game under 30 who was left behind by this circle-jerk, this one’s for you.
6. Talk About Your Dreams – Bad Rabbi Edition
I also launched a series called #TalkAboutYourDreams cause I love talking to people about their dreams, that’s the first step towards living the dream. The first one was about Schmuly, my personal hero, and the most successful professional raver of all time. Don’t miss this one, here it is.
5. Fear & Slut Shaming In Las Vegas
Oooh, this was a juicy one about this one time I didn’t get it in Vegas with this incredible dude because I was afraid his friends would think I was skanky for putting out the first night we met on a hotel balcony. It was a glorious scene that would have no doubt stood out as a crowned jewel in the spank bank for all time, but I slut-shamed myself out of making it. Read it all here.
4. Calling Baloney Sandwiches On Burning Man
This one’s actually a 2 parter, because we have my initial commentary here which garnered insane backlash from people who take Burning Man really seriously. Then we had a follow-up Vlogtail here to clarify my position on the subject, which is that I’ve decided to spend all the time and money I would have invested in going to the Burn this year into helping my own community to see how that goes. So far so good on that front, I’ll provide a full report of my progress come Labor Day weekend.
3. Dave 1 Sexually Assaulted Me With The Funk
This piece was important for several reasons – 1. because it’s hilarious, 2. it’s the first article I’ve ever written black-out drunk, and 3. because now Dave 1 thinks I’m hilarious and told me he showed his mother this story and that she also loved it. Just read it here, this is my finest hour. “Fuck it babe, let’s make a sex tape – I can be your white woman fantasy, there’s not an ounce of flavor anywhere in my lineage. P Thugg can film and narrate on Talkbox.”
2. The Drugs Are In Your Mind, Y’all
Electric Zoo made a drug PSA that was rated E for effort (HA!) but C+ for the validity of its content. It’s hard for artists and promoters to talk about drug use at the Rave because it opens them up to so much liability, but that’s what I’m here for. The drugs are in your mind and I can prove it, find out how here.
1. Can Kirill Take A Dick Pic Just To Prove It’s There?
In this piece, we pay a visit to nightlife photographer Kirill aka The Slutwhisperer to examine the effect his champagne-shower, get your tits out/your dad doesn’t love you-type programming is having on young people today. The case of his #1 fan, young George pictured below, is particularly upsetting. Between all the ass-to-mouth pornography he’s no doubt beating off to nightly and guys like Kirill showing him that women are weak, trashy and looking to get rammed by dudes who call them whores, HOW IS POOR GEORGE EVER SUPPOSED TO SUCCEED AT DATING? Find out here in my favorite article of the year.