Sam Smith’s Addition To FM Radio Causing Mass Ovulation In North American Women

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The arrival of Sam Smith’s sudden onslaught of brilliant vocals at FM radio, from the Disclosure tracks to his panty-weeping single ‘Stay With Me’, is causing an incredible phenomenon amongst North American women. That which can only be described as “mass ovulation”, women are reportedly having a full blown ovarian reaction to his songs that is causing unplanned pregnancy in record numbers.

So gentlemen, please, if your booty call or loved one has been exposed to Disclosure, FM radio or God forbid, an advance copy of the Sam Smith solo album, take extra precaution when getting it in. Or if you’re trying to conceive, get an SS playlist on the surround sound and have at it. Also, you guys, side bar – is Sam Smith the boy Adele? It really feels like he is, it even feels like he’s going one deeper because his style’s not so acutely classical . His record The Lonely Hour is out in the UK today, in the US June 17th.

Who knew such beautiful androgyny and sappy lyrics could get the masses ovulating like a Channing Tatum movie? But there’s Sam Smith out there breaking hella boundaries. Experts are predicting that the homo-erotic undertones of his latest video for ‘Leave Your Lover’ will somewhat dampen the wave of ovulation, but let the record show that I’m ovulating just as hard cause I came here to party.

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